• English Article

    2007-05-23

    版权声明:转载时请以超链接形式标明文章原始出处和作者信息及本声明
    http://lomo-monster.blogbus.com/logs/5481414.html

    昨天下班前突然想到在EF的在线课堂上做了一篇作文,仿佛回到了小学的时候,但要用英文来作文

    Topic:Describe your changing world
    Write 70 - 100 words
    How has your world changed in the last 5 or 10 years ? Is it better or worse than before ? Wirte a short article describing the modern world and comparing it to life 10 year ago.

    虽然只要求写70-100字,但洋洋洒洒的写了一通就submit了,

    今天早上得到了老师的批复

    Hello Gao:
    I am an Englishtown writing teacher. I read and corrected your writing. I hope you will find the corrections helpful. Please keep up the good work.

    Topic:Describe your changing world
    Write 70 - 100 words

    Your writing with Corrections
    My life was changed (AG)(>>had changed)from the 2001's summer(WO)(>>summer of 2001). I passed the exam of the university entry(WO)(>>university entrance exam).Then, I came (WW)(>>got)into the (D)(>>)university, majoring in Law. Actually, I don't like the university very mucn(SP)(>>much), (PU)(>>:)if I have (AG)(>>had)a choice to change it (PU)(>>,)I would like to choose a better one and the (WW)(>>an)other major which I like(PS)(>>d). But anyway, I have (D)(>>)graduated from it and found a job using it. Now, I am working for the (AR)(>>a)consulting company about sourcing which is diferent (SP)(>>different)from my major. So (PU)(>>,)I always confused (PS)(>>)whether I need to change it and what I want to do indeed?10 years ago,I am (VT)(>>was)a goung(D)(>>) in the (D)(>>)middle school and have (AG)(>>had)a lot of dreams about (I(x))(>>the)future and(I(x))(>>what) I can do for it.The difference between my modern world and 10 years ago is wheter (SP)(>>whether)I have the dream of(AR)(>>the) future still....?

    For the editing marks that I used show an incorrect word or phrase, please refer to the list at the end of this document

    Overall Teacher Comments

    You handled the topic with confidence today. You were able to write with enthusiasm and skill showing a great deal of confidence.Singular subjects need singular verbs; plural subjects need plural verbs.Use a comma before a co-coordinating conjunction that joins independent clauses.The definite article "the" (invariable in form) designates a person, place, or event, which has been specified or defined by the speaker.Reading books and magazines will help enhance your language skills and vocabulary. Good luck-Sharon

    Writing Grade:80%

    Kind regards

    Sharon_I

    *************************
    Lead Writing Instructor
    Talk to the World!
    *************************

    To give your feedback on the writing correction, go to http://

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    Writing Editing Remarks
    AG=agreement(I AM, she IS)
    AR=article (a, an, the)
    C=capitalisation
    CO=combine sentences
    D=delete
    EX=expression or idiom
    I(x)=insert x
    MW=missing word
    NS=new sentence
    NSW=no such word
    PH=phraseology
    PL=plural
    PO=possessivePR=preposition
    PS=part of speech
    PU=punctuation
    SI=singular
    SP=spelling
    VT=verb tense
    WO=word order
    WW=wrong word
    x>>y=change from x to y


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    Tag:碎碎念

    评论

  • Actually,everybody has beatiful dream,but,it's hard to come ture,
    In aadition,where there is will,there is a way,you shou chosen you love ting to do,and try you best! crazy spirit!!
    zzy
  • I think your English teacher is not so good!
  • Shron is the writing teacher's name.

    Actually,so far,I haven't english name.Sometimes, I use "Gao Si" in the email , but I found one of the Chinese colleague (VP) always forget my name according to the pronunciation.Angry! So I want to have a charming english name,haha,maybe you and Dave can give some good ideas for me.
  • You've changed your English name? Sharon, not Amy any more?
  • 现在很充实啊,不过也别太累自己,有时间给自己放个假!调节一下身体,更要调节一下心情! 知道你最近也很……

    保重啊!

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